I'm not bragging, but

Here I am, not half way through the semester, and I've finished my online course. I have to wait for the tests, since they are released on specific days, but all the course work is done. I've 'read' the text, submitted the discussion board questions, and completed my review. I'm pretty happy about that. Stress to stress free in one day of hooky.

As far as my latest electronics exam went, I didn't fail, but I didn't do well. If he rounds up, I'll make a C. If not, it's a D+. And mine was the best in the class. *sigh* Hopefully Monday's engine repair will be better.

So yeah, I did play hooky last Thursday. Not that I intended to, but it happened. I was late, since Bobby fixed me breakfast. Then, I got in the car and the brakes started scrubbing hard because of the rain. Next, I had trouble with the turbo vacuum leak (just like before). And, if the car was going to run like that, I couldn't make it there with the gas I had left.

So, I played hooky for the first time. Ooooo. I just cheated myself out of two hours of learning. The sucky part was I also had my sign language class that day, and the teacher had worked the postponed class around my schedule. That I feel kinda sucky about. But I wasn't going to go for just one class - especially with no gas. That day-before-payday thing kinda sucks. Instead, I caught up my online classwork, took my test, and said "Voila!".

So now, I think I have all the kinks worn out. I have only one vehicle in my yard that won't run, probably because of a dead battery or two. Whoops. Now to get the ignition put in R's van, the plugs in C's van, and most of the sensors in B's van, and I'll be ready to tear down the Volvo. Sucks that the Volvo needs the attention so much more than the rest. *sigh* That's a mechanic's life.

Volvo head

I am not a Volvo mechanic. I am not Volvo certified. I am not Volvo trained. I am not a Volvo Master Tech.

I just drive a Volvo (or Vulva, if you're from Kernersville, and it's a girl car, like my wagon).

And that lone qualification makes me the most logical choice for tearing down the lone Volvo 850 in our lot, that just happens to be owned by the buddy of my teacher.

Said friend likes that I have a Volvo. He likes that I occasionally know cool things about Volvos that most other people don't. *thanks, Sara, for breaking me in*

On that note, I guess I should fill you in on my Volvo knowledge, limited as it is.

When the Volvo breaks, take it to MasterTech off Stratford Rd. The end.

Okay, kidding. They are good, but that doesn't really help the learning curve, now, does it?

Do anything but take it to Furches Automotive. That I do NOT kid about. Sara, my best friend, used to own a red 1996 Volvo 850. When the gaskets all started bailing fluids, she sent it to Furches to have it torn down. $1400 later, she drove it, and it was bailing fluids again. I had to find out why, being the nosy friend I am, and sure enough, the Internet held the answer.

Volvos have this unique thing called a flame trap on them. It's a honeycomb (yes, just like the cereal) filter that sits beside the air intake. It works somewhat like a PCV, but it's a Volvo, so it's not called a PCV. I called the Volvo place to get said trap for Sara's car, and the parts tech gave me big news - there was a TSB (technical service bulletins) on those that said not to put them back, that it was pointless. So when I found Sara's under about an inch of carbon, I pried it out, breaking plastic in the meantime. The hoses that led from the flame trap through the intake manifold were busted from the pressure. Removed the blockage? Air flows properly, gaskets reseal, fluids stop leaking. She finally sold the car last year after driving it for quite some time without oil. But that's not the point. (Furches said they weren't Volvo certified, which is why they didn't look up the TSBs, and do the simple thing first.)

Fast forward 5 years. I'm now sitting in a silver hunk of the same mold. Last semester's students had this car for the entire semester for an intermittent fuel problem, which turned out to be a relay. It had only been gone a few months when it came back. No one was excited about seeing it in the parking lot again. So, what do they do? Pin it on the girl driving the Volvo. Let her have a whack at it. Okay, fine. I'll show them all.

Can I say that right now, at this moment, I'm so frustrated with my pride sometimes I could scream, if it would do any good? Why do I always have to prove myself? Really? Can I not just pass on a challenge occasionally? Would it hurt?

So this Volvo has lost compression and it bailing fluids. Since I have the proper equipment at my disposal, I do a compression test. FAIL. Epic fail. The specs say it should have 188-218 psi on each cylinder, with no more than 20 psi difference among them.

I test three times, and I get 110, 125, 130, 150, 175. Simple math tells me not enough compression in the cylinders.

Then, my teacher looks for himself, and finds the same thing. Funny man also tells me to look into this one cylinder while he turns it over and check for water drippage. The water dripped, all right. Squirted right up into my face when the piston came up. If I was dirty before, I was wetter now.

While I was there, I took apart the intake just to see if the flame trap was still in it. I was delighted to find that I was right, it was still installed, and was in the same condition as Sara's had been so many years ago. Woot! Removed that, and told the customer so.

I went ahead and replaced the coolant reservoir, since it wouldn't hold pressure, and it looked like someone had tried to patch it several times. One pump of the pressure tester proved it was leaking in multiple areas. Simple fix.

So now it's time for the head gasket. No problem. Only 5,321,388 bolts stand between me and the head. This weird 5 cylinder head has about 4 bolts per cylinder on the valve cover gasket. Add the bolts on the edges, and there were way more than necessary.

Peel it off, and there sits the head filled with a melted Frosty. The water was so oily, and the oil so watery, that you couldn't tell the difference between them.

That was last Tuesday. On Thursday, we start actually removing the head. But after pulling everything that's in the way out, it still wasn't budging. Move to the next Tuesday. One stupid bolt was holding the intake, and we couldn't reach it. Once we unbolted the entire intake, out came the head. The gasket looked okay, for its age, and the head didn't show any damage. Even the block looked solid. So where was this water leak coming from that was so profuse it squirted into the cylinder, as opposed to seeping?

We sent the head off for a pressure test and valve job at the machine shop.

That sounds so dirty. That's why mechanics have such a dirty mind. Playing with heads and greasing rear ends are just the beginning.

So the Volvo saga continues...

So I made a guy fall off a golf cart.

True story.

The bays were full on Tuesday, my lab day. Mom brought her truck up because it wouldn't pass inspection - the EGR flow was insufficient. I hoped a new EGR valve would help.

My new friend S helped me get the valve off so we could replace it. We tested the vacuum, and it was getting plenty. S leaned over the truck fender to get a grip on the 1 1/4 inch nut, and I was sitting on the radiator cover leaned over inside the engine compartment, with my feet up near the firewall.

A maintenance man from the college rode by, seeing us working on the truck, and stopped to chat. He commented that he could never have folded himself up like that under the hood.

My reply was something to the effect of, "It's easier to reach this way than trying to lean over that ridiculous grill."

He was attempting to get out of the golf cart, and upon hearing my voice, swung around so quickly that he tripped himself and fell flat on the ground. Ouch.

"Holy cow, that's a girl."

(My initial response was - thanks, Captain Obvious. I thought that's why you were making the comment. But I kept it to myself.)

I kid you not, the next thing out of his mouth was, "I should have looked at your behind. I would have been able to tell, since I can't see your face."

What do you say to that besides, "Thanks." ?

Besides, I got my amusement out of watching him fall down. The boys are a bad influence already, I see.

Oh, and Jasper is running for Class President. We'll find out later how that works out for him.

So far, in class, I've been doing very well. I made a 100 on my first electronics test, but since the rest of the class didn't pass, he threw out the grade, and gave us another quiz. Mark assured us that won't happen again, but really? I'm figuring out the boys are really not understanding what's going on, and are too macho to ask for help. I hope my smarty-pants attitude isn't the reasoning behind that. I sit in the back of the class so everyone can hear me when I answer a question. I try to help everyone who asks me. Mark is amused/annoyed by my 'teacher's helper' attitude. We make "that's just like a woman/man" jokes all the time. He's really annoyed when I correct him. But that's just like a man.

I'm feeling right at home. But the second year students? And the boys from diesel? Still treat me like I have three heads. (Must be from Brooklyn.) The older guys are amused I'm around, and the younger boys are so taken with the other girl - C's - good looks and amazing figure, that I'm invisible. Most haven't spoken to me at all, and I still don't know their names.

In my online class, I'm caught up and right on time. It's a ton of information, and I feel silly learning all this introduction stuff -after- I'm thrown in to engine repair and electronics. It's like taking 3rd grade while learning kindergarten stuff.

My new favorite web site

http://www.charmandhammer.com/

Just sayin'.

Why automotive?

That's the one question I get more than anything. "You're a girl - why do you want to get greasy under a hood all day?" (Right before I hear, "Hey, speaking of cars, mine is doing... ") I love that my book completely summarized my interest in auto mechanics in one paragraph at the beginning of chapter two.

MAST G-W online

The Automotive Technician

An automotive technician makes a living diagnosing, servicing, and repairing cars, vans, and light trucks. The technician must be highly skilled and well trained. He or she must be a “jack of all trades,” being able to perform a wide variety of tasks. For example, an experienced master automobile technician is usually capable of performing operations common to the following occupations:

• Machinist (precision measurements, brake part machining).
• Plumber (working with fuel lines and power steering lines).
• Welder (gas and arc welding on exhaust systems, parts repair).
• Electrician (charging, starting, lighting system service).
• Electronic technician (servicing a vehicle’s electronic parts).
• Air conditioning technician (repairing and recharging auto air conditioning).
• TV-radio technician (installing and repairing vehicle sound systems, cellular phones, and radios).
• Computer technician (servicing a vehicle’s on-board computers).
• Bookkeeper (business-type tasks, such as filling out repair orders, calculating hours on a job, ordering parts, totaling work order costs, etc.)

As this list demonstrates, an automobile technician’s job can be very challenging. The technician is called on to perform a variety of repair tasks, which prevents boredom on the job. If you like to use your mind and your hands, automotive service can be a rewarding and interesting profession.


Oh, and PS - remember that test I nearly 'failed'? I still made the highest grade in the class in electronics. I know I didn't do well on the engine repair test, though. Stupid, stupid mistakes on a foggy-brained Monday morning. Oh well. Guess it will look like I really learned something at the end of the semester.

I finished my first week - already?

It's the end of my first week, already. Can I believe it? No. Have I done anything cool? Sure. Am I finally comfortable walking around campus without getting lost. Kinda. Everything changes in a few years time.

The first day was awkward. I knew Power Mechanics was one building, (but it's actually spread across two), but I still got to class on time, and sat in the back, so I could see the boys and their cliques. They didn't disappoint. They looked at me like I was lost. Or an alien. Or had three heads.

I really got looks when I answered questions, and smarted off with a second year student. He had full confidence by my smart-aleck attitude that I would fit in fine.

My first day, we started tearing down an engine. With a choice comparable to the lesser of evils, I chose the 5.4L v8 Triton.

Those of you who know me and engines are probably gasping. Those who have no idea what a 5.4L comes out of, will understand why the first group is gasping - it's a Ford.

There. I said it. The four-letter F word. The blue oval of Hades. But it was that, or a Subaru, or Honda, or Mazda. See? Lesser. of. evils.

My second day, I put together said engine.

My third day, I arrived very early. That's where reading the schedule would come into play. When you don't have to arrive until 11, arriving at 9:50 is almost too much. At least I was able to pull the codes in my Volvo. Then, we took an evaluation exam and I almost failed. Technician A versus Technician B. I evaluate that Technician B is a moron.

Today, we tested continuity across circuits on a cluster '''' ball of wires. And then, we actually got a wiring harness that was still in one piece, and tested it. We are smart. When finished, I wondered over to another classmate's car and helped him test his blower motor. It was bad. So he threw it in the trash. And then I went home. Tada!

It's been fun. I know a few guys' names now (no intro in class - bad teacher!), and the diesel tech students are still looking at me weird, but I feel better than I did a few days ago. And I found out there has only been one girl graduate the program since the program began. Guess who will be number two?

School starts tomorrow!

I surely hope I'm ready for all this. I think in some ways, it's gonna rock my world. In others, I think I'll finally be able to put two and two together. And, as is the case with all things mechanical, I will be frustrated beyond belief and the engineers who completely ignore the inevitable repairs and maintenance forthcoming, and choose to make the simplest parts unreachable, unobtainable, and ridiculously difficult to get tools on.

As such, I've completed my first assignment in my online introduction class, and am waiting on the test to be posted, so I can get this out of my way. I'm currently reading the first chapter in the Automotive Electricity and Electronics book, so I'll at least understand what's going on tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

Scheduling class

It was fate, really. I went in with the intention of starting class in Computer Information Technology. I thought I could knock it out first, what with the courses from my previous degree(s) still on my record.

My new advisor was out, so another professor in the Business Dept. helped me out. Or, tried, really. She couldn't work around the system to my satisfaction, so I left, and changed my major to my 'second choice' - Automotive Technology.

Kinda different, right?

Well, that's true. But that's true about just about everything I do. I go to left field quite often, just to stretch myself. This time, though, it was more about being comfortable.

See, I grew up in a shop, garage, or grease pit of one kind or another. I would run to see my dad slaving under a big rig, getting greasy, shooting the breeze with the other men, and trying to figure out how one problem begat the next. I remember thinking by the time I was in my teens, that the smell of grease and diesel fuel really smelled -- friendly. Welcoming? Homey? Let's just say I liked it. And I like hearing Dad describe how the guys thought this one thing was the problem, and how he corrected them with a simpler fix. "School doesn't teach anything these days", he would say.

Dad only finished the 8th grade, but he'd been under a car or truck since after his return from Germany as a Screaming Eagle Paratrooper. He went just about everywhere to make a living - learning his way around this Mack B model and that Freightliner. Let's just say that song - "I've been everywhere, man", rang true with him.

After finally settling down in NC in 1970, he found jobs here and there at one shop or another, supporting the family the best a mechanic can. Oh, there was drinking, and rowdy times, and racing during that time, but we never really starved. Even during the layoffs. Dad and Mom were handy that way - pre-baby boomers that they are.

The first shop I really remember being in was Plemmons and Irving Produce in Winston-Salem, right across from the Dixie Classic Fairgrounds. His coworker Amigo, as we called him, threw me up into a banana scale and weighed me. He swung me around before putting me down, and told me I wasn't as big as a crate of bananas. Funny the things that stick in our memories, huh?

Anyway, there are stories galore that dot my childhood from this shop or that, as invariably, Dad would get comfortable at one place, just to find out the company was going under, or downsizing, or being bought out. The constant was our shop in the back yard that Dad built in the early 90's. We worked on everything in that shop, from lawnmowers to mudbuggies, to my brother's Chevy 350 hot rod.

Then I started working on things of my own, with Dad's supervision. The biggest project was rebuilding my first car, an 81 Buick Riviera, after I blew the head gasket. That probably taught me the most about the insides of an engine. From then on, I could spout big words like "rear differential gear ratio" and I knew common trick questions - like "where's the radiator on a VW Bug".

All that brought me here, to finally decide to take the plunge, and instead of learning via the school of hard knocks, to let an institution of 'higher learning' school me in proper car etiquette, and bring me up-to-date on all these new-fangeled electronics.

I met with Hardin Kennedy, my new advisor, and I was registered before I knew it. Smooth.

So this is my blog about my exploits as a girl mechanic. Learning more, experiencing new things, teaching the boys a thing or two (hopefully), and empowering other women to do it 'their dang selves'. My ultimate goal? Teaching other women how to care for their own car, do emergency repairs, and routine maintenance. I'll do the rest. And I'll call my garage - MechaniChics.